In this political season, we face the opportunity and challenge of conversations with family and friends about immigration. (And race. And LGBTQ rights. And all the rest of the political issues that divide us.)  

Why Talk?

Should we even go there? Is there any good in talking when we have profound disagreements?

Each person needs to decide what they can handle. No one should be told, ‘You need to do this to save your community.’ We need to respect individual decisions about personal safety and survival.

On the other hand, difficult conversations can have real value. In Real Talk: You Need to Talk to Your Family (Whoever They Are) About Politics at Thanksgiving, Elizabeth Logan wrote:

“This isn’t like a bad boyfriend where we can just stop answering their calls. America can’t break up with itself. We’re in this relationship forever, so even though it hurts, even though it takes forever, even though it’s annoying, I am begging you, before you pass the mashed potatoes: baby, let’s just talk about it.”

Talking Makes a Difference.

Minnesota’s Marriage Equality campaign succeeded in large part because of conversations. Beginning decades before the 2012 vote, OutFront Minnesota trained organizers to engage people with conversations and stories. The conversations worked—not all the time, but enough times to gain majority support for marriage equality.  

How to Talk About Immigration

Dozens of websites and articles offer good and bad advice about how to talk to family about immigration and other political issues.

• Really listen. This is a conversation, not a lesson or sermon. Care about the person you are talking to.

• • Ask thoughtful questions, inspired by whatever honest curiosity you feel.
  • Try to understand, not convince or persuade.
  • Share personal stories and experiences, not data points.
  • Notice if there are areas of agreement, especially share values. Focus on positives rather than arguing about negatives.
  • Assume good intentions and extend the benefit of the doubt.
  • Thoughtfully end the conversation when you are triggered or tired.
  • Share appreciation for having the conversation.

Some people are not ready for conversation. (Sometimes the person who is not ready is you—especially if you are feeling particularly stressed, hurting, or angry.) Sometimes your best option is just to change the topic, take a break, or go for a walk.  

But what about the lies?  

As satisfying as it feels to pile up fact after fact and denounce the lies spread about immigrants and immigration, that usually is not the most effective strategy.  

“Debunking false information, or contrasting myths with facts, intuitively feels like it should effectively correct myths. But research shows that such correction strategies may actually backfire, by making misinformation seem more familiar and spreading it to new audiences. … 

“Repeating a myth may also lead people to overestimate how widely it is accepted in the broader community. The more often we hear a myth, the more we will think it is widely believed.” 

Focusing on the positive—personal stories and good information about immigrants—is more effective.   

Want to read more?

Here are links to some websites offering advice on talking to family and friends about immigration and other political issues.

• Real Talk: You Need to Talk to Your Family (Whoever They Are) About Politics at Thanksgiving – great article from Glamour magazine. Though published in 2016, its advice and explanations remain solid.  
• Top Ten Conversation Tips from Listen First Project – easy reference list 
• ‘Always truth in their story’: How one author talks across political divides – Mónica Gúzman shares lessons she learned about talking to her own opposite-political-view parents 
• Talking Sense — A 2024 MPR project with multiple stories and interviews that tries to “teach Minnesotans how to think through these challenging political conversations in advance…” 

 

In 2021, the struggle against racism and xenophobia continues. What can each person do to support immigrants and refugees during this time of change? Some people want to march, others find public protest intimidating. Some of us have a little cash to donate, others do not. Maybe writing a letter to the editor is more your style. We have updated our list of important ways to help, hoping that everyone can find some way to join in.

1) Get informed. Follow us on Facebook for the latest immigration news. If you click and read just one article a day, you’ll be better informed than most people, and better able to respond to ignorant attacks.

2)  Speak up and speak out. Talk to friends and family, and to members of your civic and religious groups about immigrants and refugees. (Check out our Tips for Talking About Immigration for help getting started.)

3) Write letters to the editor to your local newspaper. Every letter that is published lets others know that immigrants and refugees have our support.

4) Support organizations that provide direct services to immigrants and refugees. Yes, that includes us! Some other Minnesota organizations: Advocates for Human Rights, Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota, International Institute of Minnesota, Clues, Mid-Minnesota Legal Aid, and Volunteer Lawyers Network. Nationally, some good places doing good work include RAICES (legal assistance in Texas); KIND (Kids In Need of Defense); Catholic Charities Refugee and Immigration Services in Portland, Maine; San Diego Rapid Response Network (donate directly or buy from their Wish List), and Al Otro Lado, which works on both sides of the border.

5) Call your representatives. Changing national policy is the single most important way to help immigrants and refugees. That is not something that will happen overnight, but it can and must happen. Pick one thing each week, and put a reminder on your calendar to call every week. Tell them you want support, not detention, for asylum seekers. Tell them you support a path to legalization and citizenship for all immigrants set out in the U.S. Citizenship Act of 2021. Tell them you want a country that welcomes the contributions of immigrants. Put their numbers on your speed dial or reach them through the Capitol switchboard at (202) 224-3121.

Phone calls get more attention than letters, which get stuck in security screening for weeks or months. Petitions get almost zero attention.

Here’s a link to our Action Alert page, which is updated regularly.

6) Get immigrants out of detention. Contribute to bond funds. Someone who is out on bond has a much better chance to get an attorney, gather evidence, and put together a successful defense against deportation. The lowest bond is $1,500, but these days the government is getting judges to set much higher bonds. In Minnesota, contribute to the Minnesota Freedom Fund.

7) Join with others. Go to a rally or protest, invite friends over to watch a movie about refugees, take a friend to a benefit event—commitment shared brings strength and energy for the struggle.

• Every Tuesday morning, from 7:30 to 8:30, people gather at the ICE entrance to the Bishop Henry Whipple Federal building to protest the continuing detention of immigrants, here and at the border
• Every day: Stand on any street corner any time with a sign opposing immigrant detention camps

8) Share on social media. You are an influencer: tell your friends what you think and that supporting immigrants and refugees is important to you. Share current news articles from our Facebook page to fight back against the lies about immigrants and refugees.

9) Volunteer. Help people learn English. Provide pro bono legal services. Become a court watcher in immigration court.

10) VOTE!  Changing national policy is the single most important way to help immigrants and refugees. That is not something that will happen overnight, but it can and must happen.

 

[The post originally published as “Five Things You Can Do to Help Immigrants and Refugees” and most recently updated in January 2021.]